Have you ever wanted more from life but felt stuck, unsure how to move forward?

Perfectionism is fear disguised as high standards.

The more foreign the task you choose to undertake, the more initial friction you deal with.

Only through working on these blog posts and my most recent job have I understood just how debilitating perfectionism can be.

Most people aren’t lazy. They’re overwhelmed by friction, fear, and unrealistic expectations.

Perfection is Overrated

I was anxious to the point of inaction at my previous job.

The thought of making a mistake, or show any lack of knowledge was debilitating.

Every week I wrestle with my inner critic fighting me every step of the way as I write and get my post ready.

I was so busy putting on the airs of a know it all, that that I didn’t have time for what really mattered.

“In essence, perfectionists fear imperfection, and equate any error with personal defectiveness. Perfectionists are generally exceedingly sensitive to criticism. They procrastinate, waiting for the perfect time to attend to tasks. Even when a perfectionist achieves success, they do not experience the delight of the accomplishment. Instead, there is only relief that this time they did not fail.” (Kelly)

As a kid you’re told you can do anything you put your mind to.

Without direction, many people drift into analysis paralysis and spend years waiting for certainty.

Decision fatigue has settled in as you’ve fallen into the routine life has presented to you.

But the good news is that perfectionism is curable with a little work.

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Understanding Your Perfectionism

Perfectionism is holding yourself or others to unrealistic expectations.

From failing to meet expectations as a kid, or lackluster performance in school, you’re reprimanded for every mistake without a clear instruction on how to learn and grow from the experience, feeding into feelings of futility.

This leads to a downward spiral until your shame eventually helps you rebound to try again only to repeat the cycle a few days later, no you’re not insane, you’re just human.

“Perfectionists also are prone to several other patterns of distorted thinking including personalization and blame—the tendency to blame oneself for something he or she was not entirely responsible for. Another is labeling, whereby one tends to base his or her entire identity on their shortcomings. Instead of acknowledging a mistake, labelers are quick to identify themselves as “losers” or abject failures.” (Kelly)

Make It Easy

If perfectionism raises the activation energy of everything, the solution is to lower it.

One of the biggest lessons from Atomic Habits is that people rarely rise to the level of their intentions. They fall to the level of their systems.

If you want to read more, leave the book where you’ll see it.

If you want to work out, prepare your clothes the night before.

If you want to write, open the document before you go to bed.

Make the good habit obvious.

Make it easy.

Make it attractive.

Make it satisfying.

Start small.

Brick by brick, repetition by repetition, you build evidence that you are the type of person who follows through.

The easier it is to begin, the more likely you are to continue.

Action reduces friction.

And every repetition makes the next one easier.

Iterative and Incremental Development

Trial and Error.

Fail. Learn. Fail a little better.

An operating system starts at version 1.00, but doesn’t jump straight to 2.00.

It improves through small updates: 1.01, 1.02, 1.10.

Growth works the same way.

The sooner you learn how to take feedback and course correct with patience, the sooner you start upgrading your software.

Perfectionism is what holds you back from completing projects or pursuing new interests.

It’s the baseless expectation that whatever you produce won’t be good enough and the potential criticism isn’t worth it.

Every project starts ugly.

Every skill starts awkward.

Every expert was once a beginner.

The goal isn’t perfection.

The goal is another repetition.

Another lesson.

Another version.

Another step forward.

The opposite of perfectionism isn’t excellence.

It’s progress.

Make it easy to be good and hard to be bad.

Citations

Kelly, John. “Your Best Life: “Your Best Life: Perfectionism—The Bane of Happiness.” National Library of Medicine, 03 April, 2015, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4562912/

Murungi, Cynthia. “Friction Theory: The Hidden Reason Your Goals Feel Harder Than They Need to Be.” Medium, 03 March 2026, https://medium.com/@angellacmurungi/friction-theory-the-hidden-reason-your-goals-feel-harder-than-they-need-to-be-1730a40004c9